


A Promise Kept

by Amelita



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Blind Character, Car Accidents, Guide Dog, M/M, POV Animal, Reincarnation, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-24 11:10:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6151759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amelita/pseuds/Amelita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death, can erase the truth of one's soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ryu’s demeanor was alert but relaxed as he examined the two humans approaching his kennel. One was his trainer, a most intelligent human, and a boy, small and blond. He walked with his hand delicately placed on Ryu’s trainer’s arm and Ryu perked up at the realization that this human was blind. The large dog moved from a lying position to sit upright on his hindlegs.

Ryu’s golden eyes sharpened as his trainer spoke to the boy, “I think I have the perfect guide dog for you Akihito. His name is Ryu. He’s a German Shepherd, a breed that we have found to be perfectly suited to the task. They are smart, strong, take initiative and have unmatched protective instincts and Ryu, well, more than most. He’s been here longer than most of our dogs, but the truth is I’ve been holding him back for just the right owner. He’s… special.”

The boy’s voice was soft but eager, “How so?”

“Ryu has shown an extraordinary capacity for empathy and understanding, far beyond what we usually see. He also has shown truly remarkable intelligence, reasoning and problem solving capabilities. We believe that whomever Ryu chooses, he will dedicate himself entirely to.”

“Who Ryu chooses?”

The older man laughed awkwardly, “Well, yes. He’s made it quite clear to me that he will chose his human and not the other way around.”

“I see,” the boy’s voice lilted, full of laughter and they were finally close enough for Ryu to catch a whiff of his scent. It was nothing like the last human his trainer had brought, who smelled like garlic and cats. Ryu couldn’t abide cats. The man had been portly and stout and it was obvious he spent his life indoors. Ryu required a master that was as active as he was. The boy smelled of fresh air and grass and a delightful scent Ryu wanted to get closer to.

His trainer bent and released the catch on Ryu’s kennel. The boy stood, tense and unsure as the large dog approached but he needn’t have feared. Ryu would never have jumped on him or pushed him. It was a rude habit he had long been broken of. One simply did not do such things, and certainly not to those who could not see it coming. He moved slowly and carefully so as not to spook the small human as he circled him, inspecting and sniffing him. The boy was lean and young. He smelled clean and well taken care of and would therefore keep his surroundings clean. He respected himself and would therefore respect Ryu. He was well fed, with healthy nails, shiny hair, but not overfed and would thus feed Ryu in proper proportion. He appeared healthy and fit. He smelled delightful.

Yes, Ryu thought to himself, this one will do. He was acceptable in every way.

Holding his head high and his chest proud, he sat at the boy’s feet, within easy reach of his right hand.

“Akihito is left handed,” his trainer said and Ryu moved to sit at Akihito’s left hand.

The boy was stunned, “Did he just…”

Ryu’s trainer nodded, “I told you, Ryu is special.”

A small hand felt carefully for the top of Ryu’s head. Pleasure sparked down Ryu’s spine at the first touch of his fingers and it surprised even Ryu. He enjoyed being petted, even if only as a reward for a job well done, but hadn’t realized how pleasurable the act alone could be.

The boy knelt down to face him, even though it was obvious he couldn't see him, Ryu still appreciated the gesture. Small hands patted him gently on the sides of his neck and face, “Hello Ryu, I’m Akihito, would you like to come home with me? Would you like to be my guide dog?”

Ryu’s tail thumped twice in quick succession. Yes, he would like that very much.

His trainer seemed pleased, “Well then, it seems a choice has been made.”

Akihito’s hand traveled down Ryu’s spine, stroking his fur softly. “He’s so big,” the boy marveled and Ryu preened a bit. He was big, very strong too.

“Yes, Ryu is probably one of the largest German Shepherds I have ever seen, but there is no cause for concern, he is also one of the gentlest I have ever known. Ryu is very self-aware, conscious of both his size and strength. He will protect you, but never harm you.”

Ryu pressed his muzzle into Akihito’s shoulder in affirmation. It would not do for his human to be afraid of him.

The boy stood. Asami could tell he was nervous now, though he didn’t understand why, the choice had been made. He was going home with Akihito. Akihito’s voice quavered a bit, “Well, I suppose all we have to do now, is talk about a price.”

“The cost of raising and training a top notch guide dog such as Ryu is $42,000.”

Ryu didn’t have any understanding of human numbers but he could feel the anxiety radiating off his human.

His trainer’s face gentled, “But the cost has been taken care of.”

Akihito’s voice was shocked, “It- it has?”

“Yes, our organization is entirely volunteer run. Training these dogs is a labor of love. They are provided free of charge to deserving individuals that are carefully selected. When we heard about your situation, the death of your mother, we knew it was time for you to have a guide dog of your own.”

Ryu could feel the boy’s hand tremble where it rested on the nape of his neck, “But, I have to pay you something. I can’t just-”

“A sizeable donation was made on your behalf, as dictated in your mother’s will. This was what she wanted for you.”

Akihito knelt, so that they were eye level, his face yet again in reach of Ryu’s tongue. The dog carefully lapped the salty fluid running down his cheeks. He was sad and Ryu was determined that he not be. He now had the finest guide dog in all of the world. He should be nothing less than thrilled. Akihito hugged the large dog’s neck and Ryu patiently stood still for it. It was quite unprofessional, but the boy was obviously overwhelmed with his joy and he supposed he could allow the boy a hug.

The trainer then went through everything with Akihito, explaining to him how Ryu’s harness worked, how Ryu would lead him and how he in turn, would lead Ryu. It was a partnership. It was Akihito’s job to tell Ryu where to go, left, right or forward and it was Ryu’s job to keep Akihito going in a straight line, keep him from bumping into things. If Ryu did not go forward when Akihito commanded him to, his trainer explained that that was called intelligent disobedience and likely meant that it was not safe to proceed. Ryu would go forward when it was safe, and only then. Trust, he explained to Akihito, was key. Ryu would be his eyes, he would see the dangers Akihito couldn’t. Low hanging things he might hit his head on, moving objects that he might step into the path of, curbs, steps, potholes; Ryu would guide him safely away from them. He could even recognize elevator buttons and pedestrian crosswalks.

They went through all of Ryu’s commands, from sit to retrieval and Ryu displayed his skills proudly. Whatever his human needed, he was capable of providing.

By the time they left the training center, Akihito was comfortable with all of his commands. The boy’s hand rested gently on the harness as Ryu led him to the waiting car. Akihito got in and Ryu followed. He had ridden in cars before, and while it was most exciting and he was tempted to stick his head out the window and feel the wind in his fur, that would have been most undignified and Ryu was still rather determined to make a good first impression. His human was most fortunate that Ryu had selected him and Ryu was determined to show him just how fortunate he was. He was a very good dog.

He rode with his head placed on the seat by Akihito’s lap, dozing and keeping still as he had been taught. When his human sat quietly, he sat quietly. Occasionally, there would be a bump or a loud noise and Ryu would raise his head to ascertain if there was a threat to his human. Once certain there was none, he would lay his head back down.

Akihito’s fingers sifted through the soft hair on the nape of his neck, scratching idly, in somehow just exactly the right spot behind his ears. His hands were strong, but gentle. Ryu examined the boy from the corner of a slitted eye. Yes, he thought to himself, he had picked well.

He had heard the word cute used before and understood how it could be applied, to puppies and such, not to himself. Once a little girl had called him cute and Ryu had fixed her with such an icy stare that she had gone crying back to her mother. No, Ryu was not cute. But his new human was. He was unbelievably cute, beautiful in fact. That was a word Ryu understood but had certainly never applied to a human, only bacon. The dog paid close attention to all humans, reading their faces and bodies for cues, but he had never noticed one the way he was noticing Akihito now. His human was very attractive, with long lashes, soft skin and a sad vulnerable mouth. Ryu supposed he was sad because he was used to be blind and alone.

But Akihito wasn’t alone anymore, and he wasn’t blind, because he belonged to Ryu now and Ryu was going to be his eyes. He was going to take care of him. I will protect you because you are Mine, he thought to himself, Mine to protect.

 

-

 


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Ryu awoke his usual time, just as the sun began to rise over the horizon. Akihito was still in bed.

Ryu ambled about the tiny apartment for a bit, familiarizing himself with it before the big dog curtly perched himself beside the boy's head and barked his greeting. The boy rolled over with an irritated grunt. Ryu scowled. This was not acceptable. He needed to get his human trained better. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Ryu had heard his trainer say that before and therefore he knew it must be true. He intended to make sure his owner woke bright and early every morning.

The sun was up, therefore it was time for his human's morning constitutional. Very important in the care of humans, that they go for long walks to exercise their two spindly legs. Ryu barked once more and when Akihito pulled the pillow over his head, Ryu took it in his teeth and tried to pull it off. They went back and forth and back and forth until finally Akihito relinquished it to avoid tearing it.

“Ryu! No!” he yelled then and pulled the covers over his head.

The boy also lost the tug of war with those and then Ryu got right up on the bed and straddled him so he could bark in his face. Intelligent disobedience, that was what his trainer had called it.

Finally Akihito sat up rubbing his eyes disgruntledly. Ryu wuffed happily and then trotted off to get his pants, and then his shirt and his shoes. Odd thing about humans, how they took off their skins every night. Akihito tugged each item of clothing on sleepily, but it wasn’t until Ryu brought him his harness that the boy started to wake up. He held the loose harness in his hands confusedly, “Ryu, did you need to go out?”

The boy stood and carefully moved across the room to open the back door. Ryu huffed and tugged on the harness, leading the boy to the front door. Akihito shook his head, fearfully pulling away, “No Ryu, I can’t.”

Ryu whined questioning.

Akihito’s lower lip trembled, “Because I can’t! I can’t see! I get all turned around, what if I get lost? What if I trip or fall? What if I accidentally step in front of a car?”

The dog barked angrily at the idea. Akihito’s hands trembled and he clutched the harness to his chest.

Ryu understood that the boy was afraid. He did. It was a lot to take on faith, that Ryu wasn’t going to just lead him out into the world and leave him there, or worse, lead him into danger. But the boy couldn’t live his whole life in this tiny apartment and Ryu had a feeling that that was exactly what Akihito had been doing ever since his previous companion had died. He nudged his human with his nose, pushing him gently towards the door.

“I can’t-”

The German Shepherd shook his head, ‘WOOF’ed loud and commandingly and nosed at his halter. He sat down expectantly at Akihito’s feet to have it put on. Slowly and with his fear written all over his face, Akihito slipped it over the dog’s broad muscular chest and buckled it under his thick forelegs. The boy stopped then, frozen in a crouch, and Ryu had to spur him back into motion by pawing at the doorknob. He was determined to get his human outside even if it took all morning.

Akihito picked up a white walking cane that sat in the corner and Ryu shook his head. With monstrous jaws, he gently plucked it from the boy’s fingertips and sat it aside. His human certainly had no need for THAT anymore.

Even after he opened the door, Akihito hesitated, clutching the door frame like a lifeline, “Ryu, I just don’t know about this.”

Ryu sat there patiently, letting Akihito listen to all the sounds of life outside; the sounds of people talking and walking and going to and for and living their lives. His human could be out there too. All he needed was just a little faith.

Slowly the boy’s hand moved from the doorframe to the handle of Ryu’s harness. Ryu sat still letting the boy get used to the comforting weight of it under his palm. It was steady and it was solid and he could count on it to lead him safely.

The big German Shepherd began to slowly move forward, conscious of the boy’s steps just behind and to the left of his. He was ever careful of Akihito’s path. The other pedestrians steered clear of them, not only because Ryu was an enormous, well-muscled German Shepherd, but also because of the bright harness that marked him clearly as a guide dog. The odd pair ambled slowly down the street and Ryu was gratified to note that Akihito’s breathing was beginning to even out and his steps were becoming more sure and confident. His white knuckled death grip on the harness began to ease.

They turned a corner and were halfway down another street when a voice called his human’s name out.

“Akihito!”

Two heads turned towards the sound of the noise. Another smallish human approached them at a jog. Ryu positioned himself carefully between his human and the stranger.

The dark haired human stopped a few feet away when Ryu fixed him pointed with a golden stare. He did not growl. It was not necessary for his stance made the threat perfectly obvious.

The human put his hands up, “Whoa, hey, Akihito, call your attack dog off, its me! Kou!”

Ryu watched his human’s face widen into a smile and his stance softened. This person was known, and seemed welcome. So he sat on his haunches and let this human called ‘Kou’ approach.

“Kou? Oh my goodness! Hi!”

They embraced, but Akihito kept his hand solidly on Ryu’s harness. Ryu wasn’t sure if it was because it comforted him or because he was afraid Ryu might run away from him. Ryu tried not to be insulted by that. Trust had to be built. The fact that Akihito had followed him out onto the street was a big step.

“How have you been? Its been forever. I heard about your mother. I am so sorry.”

“Yea. It was rough for a while,” the boy’s voice trailed off sadly, but then perked up, “But now I have Ryu. He’s my new guide dog.”

“Dog huh? I know you’re blind and all, but are you absolutely sure they didn't give you a horse?”

Akihito laughed and Ryu snorted and rolled his eyes. Of course he wasn't a horse. They were much taller and _far_ more feeble-minded.

Their conversation devolved into idle meaningless human chatter and Ryu tuned it out. His big wolfish head moved to survey the street, mapping it in his mind for later retrieval. He noted a park across the street and decided to take his human to it. Humans liked parks. After some time and the two humans exchanged something called ‘phone numbers’, they were on their way again. Akihito waved goodbye cheerfully. Ryu noted a hint of a smile on his face and filed that away. Human to human interaction was important. He should make sure to try and arrange regular playdates for Akihito with other humans.

He steered Akihito carefully over to the park, crossing the street at the crosswalk after the light had turned. Ryu was impressed by the trust Akihito displayed, letting him lead. Once the boy became more comfortable with things he would probably take more command of their direction, but today was just for training. Ryu relaxed a bit once they were in the park. There weren’t many people there. There was a mother and daughter throwing bread to some ducks. Ryu’s teeth itched to try and catch the birds in his teeth and tear them to pieces but those were just his predatory instincts talking. He was a professional, far above his baser instincts.

As they drew closer to the lake, Akihito suddenly stopped in his tracks. Naturally, Ryu stopped too. He looked up at him curiously. There was a look of awe and wonder on his pretty face.

“Is- is that the fountain? Are we at the park?”

Naturally, Ryu couldn’t say yes, but the burbling tones of the fountain in the nearby lake confirmed their location. The boy blinked his long lashes rapidly and wiped at his cheeks with his free hand. Ryu cocked his head to the side in confusion. The dog recognized tears as a sign of sadness, but the boy didn’t seem sad. There was a wide smile on his face. He began to walk forward more confidently now. It was obvious that he was no longer lost and that changed everything. He began to talk then, telling Ryu all about the park; the bench where he and his mother used to have lunch and the oak tree that he had carved his name in when he was small.

From the park, they went to the fruit stand and from there, lunch at a local diner where they both had burgers. Ryu's had bacon on it. People who knew his human came to speak with Akihito and meet Ryu and Ryu learned them by their faces and their scents so that he would know who were not strangers. A smile hovered almost constantly on Akihito’s pretty lips and a laugh was never far behind and Ryu thought to himself as Akihito confidently directed the way back to his apartment, that being a guide dog wasn’t just about guiding his human’s steps, it was about guiding his heart and his mind too.

Ryu couldn’t give his human back his sight, but he could give him back his dignity, his freedom, and his spirit and those things were just as important.

-

[Hold my Hand](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLyUcAUMmMY&list=RDVHrLPs3_1Fs&index=27)


	3. Chapter 3

_Approximately Forty Two Dog Years Later_

A car door slammed somewhere in the distance and Ryu’s shaggy head shot upwards. Akihito groaned and rolled over, his arm flopping over Ryu’s neck. His bare leg soon followed and the young man ended up draped halfway over the massive dog. He muttered something unintelligible into the pillow and then began to drool; slack jawed and incoherent. Ryu looked quizzically at him, wondering how his human could be so oblivious to his surroundings.

He sighed resignedly. Oh well. That was after all, why Akihito had him.

He laid his head back down next to the boy’s though his ears stayed up until he was sure all was well. His warm honey eyes landed softly on the boy sleeping next to him. In the beginning, Ryu had slept on the floor, but the first cold snap, he had ended up on the bed and the pair had slept like that ever since. Akihito breathed softly, in and out through his mouth and Ryu angled his nose to best catch at the drafts of warm, musky air. He loved the smell of Akihito’s morning breath. He liked it best, ranked it just above his nighttime breath and only a little below his after-bacon breath. That was pretty much the best, the smell of Akihito AND bacon combined. Ryu nuzzled his nose into the soft velvety skin under his neck where Akihito’s scent was the strongest and took a strong whiff. It smelled so good. There was nothing in the world that smelled so good as HIS human.

Akihito grunted as Ryu’s cold nose met his sleep warmed skin and he huffed in irritation, but his arms came up to sleepily stroke down Ryu’s back and spine. The German Shepherd dozed beside him patiently. His tail wagged slowly as he waited for Akihito to wake up. Today was one of the good days. All of their days were good days, but today was one of the best ones because today Akihito didn’t have to go to work. Five days of the week his human had to get up and go to a place that allowed Ryu to nap at his feet while he made phone calls. Those days were long and terribly boring, but Akihito said it was necessary in order to pay for things like food and bacon, so Ryu was willing to put up with it. But, once the five days was over, they got two days during which they could do anything they liked and Ryu loved those days the best. He couldn’t wait for Akihito to wake up on those days, but unfortunately, those were the days his human always seemed to forget to set his alarm clock; a terrible oversight that.

The large dog finally grew tired of staring at his human’s eyelids and licked a long stripe up his soft pink cheek.

“AaH!Ryu!!” he whined but his eyes snapped open and Ryu grinned because he knew he had won. He licked another stripe up his cheek and then clambered off the bed as Akihito furiously wiped dog slobber off his face, “You big jerk! Its Saturday! How many time do I have to tell you we sleep IN on Saturdays!! Crazy mutt!”

Ryu trotted over and dropped his shoes at his feet. He piled shorts and a tank on top of them. Then he changed his mind. It was a bit chilly for a tank top, Akihito would be better off in a T-shirt. Ryu switched them out. Meanwhile Akihito continued to complain, “Everyone else gets to sleep in as long as they like on their days off, but then, everyone ELSE has dogs that aren’t complete control freaks! Lucky me; I got Pol Pot reincarnated in canine form!”

The entire time he ranted, at least he was dressing so Ryu ignored him utterly. The dog didn’t know who Pol Pot was anyway.

He finished with his harness, dropping it into Akihito’s hand and standing still as the boy got to his knees and fastened it about Ryu’s broad chest. Aki grumbled, “You know, you could at least let me PRETEND to be in charge, every once in awhile.”

Ryu’s long rough tongue caressed his face affectionately. Akihito smiled reluctantly, “Yes, I love you too.”

They started their morning walk, by going around the corner and across the street to the park and the moment Ryu’s paws hit the park trail, he broke into a slow jog and Akihito right behind him. They did this every day on their day off, rain or shine, because both of them loved it so. Akihito never got tired of running, because until Ryu, he had never done it. He had never had the confidence. Not now. Now, he fairly flew down the path with the wind in his hair and joy in his eyes.

Ryu was so proud of him. Over the years Akihito had grown from a small, timid little human to a tall, confident one that was outgoing and adventurous and beloved by all who met him. Unfortunately, his human was as irresistible to his own species as he was to Ryu’s. All the dogs of the neighborhood would come running to him for a pat on the heads and a quick bellyrub. Ryu had long since stopped trying to keep them away and now just focused on not going mad with jealousy. It was impossible for him, but as much as he hated the smell of other dogs on Akihito’s hands, he loved the sight of the smile on his face more.

They went three times around the pond and then stopped at the bench in a shady spot under an old oak tree. Akihito sighed and stretched out his feet, Ryu reclined next to them on soft green grass. His hip ached a bit from the run but he pointedly ignored it. It reminded the large German Shepherd that while Akihito was just blooming out of his youth, bursting into his adulthood with vigour, Ryu was well past middle-aged in dog years sliding into decline. It reminded Ryu of how much longer humans lived than dogs and the thought made his heart ache painfully in his chest. What would Akihito do without him?

Suddenly Akihito’s feet shot out and he stood up, Ryu rose to his feet his ears perked curiously.

“Guess what? Its Spring!”

Ryu gazed about the flowers and the green grass and then back at Akihito. The boy lifted an affirmative finger, “And you know what Spring means, don’t you?”

The German Shepherd’s eyes widened in alarm. No. He wasn’t prepared for this. Not yet.

Nononono….

“Tulips! Its tulip planting weather! Forward ho my stalwart friend!”

Ryu began to whine in his throat, but he had no choice to obey as Akihito chirped the harness like horse reins and directed him to the florist shop. His massive paws dragged as if he were his way to his own lynching. Akihito loaded his arms and the pockets of Ryu’s harness with dozens of bouncing tulips. The German Shepherd’s long face scowled all the way home at the utter indignity of it all, but he knew that the worst was still yet to come.

They did this every year and every year it ended up the same.

Akihito began merrily setting out the tulips along the front of the house and Ryu began to dig. He dug neat little holes evenly spaced in the dirt border and normally would have been quite enthusiastic about having a legitimate reason to dig a hole but the guard dog’s entire body was slumped with dejection. When he was done, he slunk off and stared at the street pointedly away from the flowers. Ryu winced as Akihito called him back over, patting the ground next to him, “Come, sit next to me.”

Ryu dragged his heavy body back over and plopped his head between his paws as he was forced to face his mortal enemy.

The tulips bobbed merrily as Akihito plopped them in their holes and began to pat the dirt in place. He was talking about how he and his mother used to do this every Spring but Ryu had heard the story nearly a dozen times so he tuned it out.

The tulips’ fat, bulbous heads swayed on slender stalks hypnotically moving side to side and bouncing up and down in the breeze.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Up and down.

Up and down.

Ryu whined and closed his eyes but the moment he opened them, there they were again, taunting him. Scentless abominations, thats what they were.

They knew what they were doing, Ryu was convinced of it.

One of them bent low, nearly grazing Ryu’s nose and he lost it. His massive jaws opened and snapped shut on the tulip’s big fat head with a satisfying crunch.

It was heaven.

So he did another and another, and then he realized what he was doing and swallowed the last blossom down hard. But it was ok, there were still a few left. Just so long as he didn’t do anymore, it was hardly even noticeable. He was probably going to get a terrible stomachache...

The one on the end started waving at him.

It was ASKING for it.

His head snapped to the side and that was the end of that tulip.

The poor blind boy didn’t even notice as he planted a headless clump of leaves and a decapitated stem.

Ryu felt like a monster.

All his human wanted to was plant some pretty flowers and Ryu was ruining them. Again. He did this every time. He tucked his tail glumly between his legs and circled away from the flowers. Akihito was chattering happily to him, “The salesgirl said these were red. I don’t know what that means really, but she said it was the most popular color. I wish I knew what colors were. Red, blue, green. Its all pretty meaningless to me. But I suppose thats something we have in common, eh boy?”

Ryu’s nostrils huffed into the grass. Colors. Bleh. His puke was certainly going to be colorful.

There was just one tulip left. It was bobbing up and down. Mocking him.

Akihito leaned back, pleased with his work, “Well, thats got it! I may not be able to see them, but it kinda makes me happy to know they are there, you know?”

Ryu froze with his jaws clamped around the head of the last bobbing tulip.

He released it gently and it slumped over like a deflated balloon, which looked even worse, so Ryu decided to just go ahead and finish it off. Akihito stood there with his hands on his hips, satisfied and proud as he blindly surveyed his garden of headless tulips. Meanwhile, Ryu butted his head against the steps in frustration.

Every time. Every DAMN time.

His amber eyes scowled in defeat. Next time, for sure, he’d be able to resist.

“Oh! I forgot the fertilizer! We’ve got to go back and get some,” Akihito said, dusting his hands on his shorts. Ryu groaned inside, imagining his poor blind human carefully sprinkling fertilizer over a bunch of empty stems. He was humiliated. He was an utter failure as a professional, he might as well hang up his harness and retire.

He’d make it up to him though, he’d let him sleep late tomorrow and he’d bring him his slippers to keep his feet warm and he cuddle him all night long. Yes, he’d make it up to him. Ryu licked the back of his left hand in apology as he moved to stand in front of it.

Ryu still felt like total jerk as he looked at Akihito’s pitiful deflowered flower bed.

The pair made their way down the bright sunny street. It was a busy Saturday afternoon. The hot dog cart was just being wheeled into place and the big umbrella set up. Ryu licked his lips at the thought of perhaps scoring a hot dog on the way back. The portly vendor had always been particularly generous to him in the past. The streets were busy with people and cars, but it was a friendly kind of busy that was different from the weekdays because everyone was going places that they wanted to go, not where they HAD to.

Ryu watched as a little girl in a yellow sundress skipped over the cracks in the pavement on the other side of the street. She clung to her mother’s hand. A gust of wind came and blew her sun hat off. With a dismayed cry, she tore away from her mother’s hand and chased it into the street. A car’s tires screamed.

His head twisted to see a car swerve to avoid her, its wheels jerking over the median and heading straight for Akihito. The boy was tensed, his head turned towards the noise but his eyes were blind to the danger. There wasn’t even a second of hesitation as Ryu pivoted on his hindlegs and pounced on Akihito’s chest, knocking him backwards. The car hit Ryu instead. The bumper impacted at full speed, crushing the air from his lungs with a pained yelp. Its path was stopped by a steel lamp post. The front of the car crumpled like a tin can around it. The dog’s body was pinned between.

Time stood still

He could hear Akihito screaming his name and he longed to go to him.

But he couldn’t feel his legs.

He couldn’t feel his body.

Blearily his eyes opened and he saw Akihito crawling towards him, fumbling blindly along the car’s mangled bumper in an effort to get to him. He was going to cut himself on the glass that covered the ground. The dog whined weakly in protest.

Akihito’s hands sunk into blood soaked fur and he whimpered, “Ryu?”

His face came closer and Ryu could see that it was soaked with tears. He lapped at it gently before it became too much effort to hold his head up.

Akihito wept, “Oh God no, please. Don’t go. Don’t go.”

Ryu tried to obey.

His boy’s voice echoed in his ears as his vision began to go black.

“Please stay Ryu, stay with me. Please. Please don’t leave me. Stay, stay with me boy...”

He _tried_.

He tried so hard to _stay_ , but there were some commands even the best of dogs couldn’t obey.

-


	4. Chapter 4

[Gold](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4SkIxrYPPU)

-

The golden soul glimmered in the air where it hovered, somewhere between the earth and heaven as its stewards spoke on its behalf. Ryu’s consciousness was aware but it was as if he was dreaming, straining to hear a softly spoken conversation. He was only able to catch bits and pieces of it but not enough to make sense of anything.

_… dog’s body is beyond repair…_

_…. black market, arms dealer, weapons trafficker….his soul is corrupted…_

_… this is a pure soul ….deserves a second chance…._

_….belong together..._

_Make the trade._

It was then that his tiredness overwhelmed him and a loud roaring sound deafened his ears, like water pouring into a steel pot and back out again.

The water landed in a vessel miles away.

A sleeping body that had been as a statue began to come back to life inch by inch. It started with his toes tingling and the awareness slowly moved up his legs into his arms and his hands. He was aware of his heart beating and the breaths that ebbed and flowed in his chest. A few moments later, Asami Ryuichi’s eyes opened for the first time in forever.

He looked around the room and recognized it as a hospital. His body felt heavy, but solid and intact and the weight of it surrounding his consciousness was comforting. He laid there with his eyes open, staring and trying to gather his thoughts into something coherent. His mind felt as if it were trying to sing two different songs at once. One was loud, right in his ear and consisted of facts and memories and all the information that the synapses of his physical brain had recorded over thirty four years. The other song was softer and farther away and it was his heart and his soul and the things he felt. They were memories of another life and they were fading away fast. He strained his ears trying to hear the song but it was like it was in another room and the soft notes were being drowned out by the loud music in his own mind.

He sat up then trying to clear his head and that was the moment that a nurse walked into his room.

She screamed in surprise and Asami had the strange, almost overwhelming urge to bark at her.

He shook his head in confusion.

Moments later the room was alive with nurses and doctors coming in to see him. They fired questions at him and Asami tried his best to answer but words felt like foreign objects in his mouth, rolling around like marbles on his tongue. His speech came out garbled and unintelligible and nothing at all how the words sounded in his head. The handsome man frowned as his hands floated over his mouth. His face hardly felt like his own.

“Aphasia,” one of the doctors said confidently, jotting something down on a notepad and they all began nodding their heads and speaking at one other, ignoring him as if because he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t think.

Asami ignored them because there was another more pressing matter under the covers. He had just become aware of the catheter. He looked under the blankets and stared in fascinated horror at where it sprouted from his groin.

A kindly nurse noted his discomfort and shooed the doctors out like an angry mother hen. She gently and carefully removed the catheter for him and handed Asami a urinal instead. He tried to thank her. The words came out a bit better that time around and she patted his hand, “Don’t you worry. Lots of patients have a bit of a struggle when they first come around. Just relax. It will get better with time, you’ll see.”

She left him alone then and in the silence, Asami could hear the far away music again, like something tickling his brain. He tilted his head trying to hear it better. It was like trying to remember something he had forgotten.

It was something important.

He felt certain there was somewhere he was needed. Someone needed him. He needed to go.

He stood on trembling legs and carefully made his way to the door, but as he stepped out, he noted a draft on his backside and that his entire rear was exposed. The skin he was wearing was inadequate. ‘Skin?’ He thought to himself, wondering why he called the hospital gown that in his head. He returned to his room and looked in the closet to find clothing. Putting them on was awkward and felt like he had never done it before. His first try at the pants had them on backwards. Once he got himself together, he made his way down the halls and stairs of the hospital. His legs felt strange, unsteady, like there weren’t quite enough of them, like he should have had two more for stability. Two legs really weren’t enough, he thought to himself, four would really be better.

The familiar sights and sounds of the street steadied him and the man breathed in deeply of the scents around him. They all felt muted and faint. He remembered them much sharper. He also remembered being much lower to the ground.

The businessman rubbed his head in confusion again.

He was unable to track the source of his strange thoughts and memories, unable to remember why he felt this way, only that he did.

His feet began to move almost as if on their own and thus he began to walk. The direction at first seemed random but Asami quickly realized it was not. Each intersection he came to, he had a clear picture in his head of which way to go. He turned right and left and continued straight with the certainty that he had walked these streets before, all of them. He had them mapped in his head, like squiggly red lines, all tracing back to a single point. Asami didn’t know where he was going, but his feet certainly did.

As he walked, he kept looking back over his right shoulder.

Over and over, he turned his head sideways to glance backwards out the corner of his eye.

It bothered him each time he looked and saw no one there. Someone was supposed to be there. Someone’s footsteps were supposed to echo in time with his. There was someone who had walked beside him, just behind, for as long as he could remember and to not have that person there, felt terribly wrong.

He had walked in front of that person to protect them, to guide them and make sure that they didn’t get lost. That person was supposed to be there, and he wasn’t and that meant he was alone, which meant he might be lost, or hurt. Asami’s heart began to beat fast in his chest. The businessman’s steps quickened and his broad shoulders jostled the other pedestrians in his haste.

Asami was becoming frantic.

He needed to find his person.

The person that was supposed to be with him, that belonged to him, that he had promised to protect. He needed to find them. He couldn’t remember who or why but he knew, that he was needed.

The streets and the signs blurred together but his feet were fast and sure. His mind was confused but his heart knew the way. The buildings became smaller and the skyscrapers turned into little apartments and soon Asami was in a place that was very familiar. He knew the man who sold hot dogs from that bright yellow cart and that there was a black tabby who liked to sit in that window when the afternoon sun was on it and taunt him. Asami scratched his head on that one. How could a cat taunt him? He passed a park that called to him, a shady spot under an oak tree that beckoned to him. Asami knew that wasn’t his destination, but he knew he was close.

He rounded one last corner and he knew he was there. It was a corner apartment with a tiny yard. A shutter hung loose from one of the windows. There were a bunch of headless tulips planted on either side of the steps. The paint was peeling on the door. It was shabby. It was small.

It was like nowhere he had ever been before, but it felt like home.

The businessman stopped at the gate and stood there silently. The door was red. It occurred to him that he had never realized how beautiful the color red was. It was like he was seeing it for the first time. All of the colors were so bright they almost burned his eyes.

He knew that whoever was on the other side of that red door with the peeling paint was the most important thing in the world to him, even as he was simultaneously certain he had never been here before in his life.

Asami stood there for a long time trying to think of what to say and hoping that if he could find the words, that he would know how to say them and then before he was even remotely ready, the red door swung open.

A blond haired boy slowly moved out into the light. His blue didn’t even squint in the hot sun. They were blue and Asami decided that he like blue even more than he liked red. The boy was beautiful, but grief and fear clung to him like a shroud. The bones of his face stuck out like awnings over his hollow cheeks. He looked as though he hadn’t eaten in a long time. He looked as though he hadn’t slept in longer. His beautiful eyes were trimmed in red and Asami could still see the tracks of his tears shiny on his skin as if so many had fallen, they had polished the skin smooth.

He looked so, so sad.

Everything else in Asami’s mind was a muddled, blurry mess, but this boy, his face stood out in stark relief. Everything about him was perfectly clear. His name was Akihito and this was the person Asami had been looking for. The feeling of terror in his chest eased and faded away and was replaced by an overwhelming sense of peace.

The boy shuffled his feet slowly as he clumsily felt his way out of the door with his right hand. He clutched something to his chest with his left. Akihito made it a few steps from the door when his foot crashed into a watering can. The loud noise startled him and he jumped back, nearly falling. Fear was written on his face, shock and upset that quickly crumpled into despair and grief. Defeated, he collapsed onto the steps to his apartment and began to cry, rocking back and forth and clutching something desperately to his chest.

It was a guide dog’s harness, the straps wrapped around a cardboard box.

The leather was stained with blood.

Asami’s heart broke for him and Akihito's pain finally jolted him into action. The large man stepped forward, forgetting his own fear. He walked right up to him and stammered out an awkward, “H-hello.”

The boy jolted, mopping frantically at his face with his hands as if he were embarrassed of his tears. “Hello,” he returned shyly.

Asami’s tongue felt frozen. That one word had been the extent of his grand plan to comfort the boy and now he was at a loss. He couldn’t think of any more words or how to use them. He would rather have just wiped Akihito’s tears away with his palms and his tongue but knew that probably wasn’t appropriate.

He sat down beside him, just shy of their shoulders touching. The boy scooted away just slightly.

Asami stared forward, acutely conscious of the boy on his right. He desperately wished he could remember his own name so he could introduce himself. He felt so confused. He should _know_ his own name. He should. It whispered in the back of his mind but he couldn’t quite hear it so he said nothing

He watched the headless tulip stems bob in the breeze and imagined how they had looked with their fat bulbous heads and how those had crunched between his teeth when he ate them. That had been a terrible thing to do. All that hard work; ruined.

“Sorry about your flowers,” he said morosely.

“Yea, my dog ate them. Big doofus,” the boy fiddled with the leash in his hands. They were silent for a while before he continued, “That was half the reason I planted them though. Every spring I’d plant them, and every year he’d eat all the heads off. I guess they seemed like toys or treats or something and he just couldn’t resist. He’d think I didn’t know, but I could hear him crunching them right after I planted them and I’d try so hard not to laugh because afterwards I could tell he’d feel so guilty about it and then he’d suck up to me for days afterwards. It was kind of like our private joke. I don’t know if he got it though. Idiot.”

Asami shook his head, but he couldn’t stop his embarrassed smile.

Slowly but surely, it was starting to come back to him, like water seeping into soil.

“They gave me his ashes in a box. I’m supposed to bury him and I wanted to go to the park but, without him...I can’t. I’ve never felt so lost. To everyone else, he was just a dog, but to me, he was my best friend. He was my whole world. And now, now he’s-,” his voice broke as his face crumpled again and he began to cry. Without hesitation Asami reached out and pulled Akihito into his shoulder. The boy cried unrestrained as Asami held him. His fingers twisted aimlessly around the leather dog harness and the box he clutched in his lap.

“I’m so sorry,” Asami said. The words still felt so strange in his mouth and so utterly inadequate for how he felt.

Akihito gasped, “I wish it had been me, rather than him. Or both of us, so I didn’t have to be left behind, alone. I don’t know how to go on without him and I don’t even want to and its so unfair!” His sorrow turned to anger and contorted his delicate features, “Why? Why did this have to happen to him? He was the one, good, perfect thing in my life and he didn’t deserve to die that way! It was horrible and it wasn’t fair! Its not fair!” Akihito’s fists pounded his thighs and Asami rubbed his back slowly, feeling hopelessly inept as the boy’s rage ebbed and flagged and finally faded.

Finally the boy dropped his head into his right hand, the left one still tightly curled about the dog harness, “I’m sorry, I don’t even know you and I just… I’m sorry.”

Asami didn’t know how to comfort him with words but he knew how to comfort him without. He stood and took the boy’s free hand in his own. “Come,” he said, “Lets go.”

Red-rimmed eyes looked up at him in alarm, “Where?”

“To the park,” Asami said as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“I can’t, I can’t see, I might get lost without….” Akihito’s voice trailed off with a hitching sob.

Asami took the box away from him. He let go of the boy’s right hand and slowly lifted his left. He slowly uncurled Akihito’s fingers, lifting them one by one until the harness lay loose in his palm. He could see the indentations in the leather from years of holding it just the same way. It was time to let it go now. He lifted it and laid it gently on the steps. The fingers of his right hand replaced it, twining through Akihito’s.

Asami stood still and let the boy get used to the comforting weight of it surrounding his own small hand.

It was steady and it was solid and he could count on it to lead him safely.

Mine, mine to protect, he thought to himself as he held it.

He relished the feeling of the boy’s small hand in his own large one and how shockingly intimate it felt instead of the harness. He thought perhaps the tradeoff of four legs for two might not be so bad, because now he could hold Akihito’s hand in his. As they stood, Asami studied the thickness of his long dark lashes and the cinnamon freckles that dotted his button nose. Asami was much taller than him now and it felt strange to look down on him from such a great height, instead of the reverse.

He decided that Akihito was just as pretty from above as below.

He began to slowly move forward, conscious of the boy’s steps just behind and to the left of his. He was ever careful of Akihito’s path. The boy clutched his hand fearfully, his grip painfully tight on Asami’s fingers as they began to move out onto the street. The other pedestrians steered clear of them, Asami’s impressive stature and bearing was more than enough to command a wide berth. The odd pair ambled slowly down the street and Asami was gratified to note that Akihito’s breathing was beginning to even out and his steps were becoming more sure and confident. His white knuckled death grip on Asami’s fingers began to loosen.

Asami’s sure steps took him to the park, to the fountain and Akihito’s footsteps echoed his, just behind and to the right, right where they belonged.

Their palms grew warm together.

They were strangers, but somehow not. Asami knew Akihito could feel it, even if he couldn’t understand it.

Asami himself understood nothing about this. He knew who he was, and yet at the same, knew he was someone else entirely. The only thing he was sure of was that he wanted nothing more than to be here, with this boy, in this park, holding his hand.

He led him to a shady place under an old oak tree; a perfect place for a boy and his dog to sit and enjoy the park. He sat the box containing the dog’s ashes down, helped Akihito down to his knees and then knelt himself. The soil was soft and moist under his fingers and it seeped through his suitpants. He loosened the dirt and then guided Akihito to lift and create a pile of it as Asami deepened the hole. If anyone who knew the older man had seen him, they would have been shocked to see the CEO of a major company down on his hands and knees, digging a hole like a dog. But no one saw him and Asami thought nothing of it. His only thought was to comfort Akihito, to ease his pain and help shoulder his burden.

When the hole was finally deep enough, Asami silently handed the boy the box and let him pour out the ashes out. Akihito spoke softly as he laid his best friend in the ground. Silent tears coursed down his cheeks and he wiped at the with the back of his hands, smudging his cheeks with dirt as he spoke, “You were a weird dog you know that. You were always very…. professional. Stoic and aloof, but… you had this charisma that I can’t even begin to explain. You were like a bossy old man stuck in a goofy dog’s body. The strong silent type, but it was always obvious how much you loved me. Even though you couldn’t say it, I knew, because you showed it in a thousand different ways, by going above and beyond for me, every single day. Your love for me was so huge and so gentle that I forgot how to be afraid, because I knew I had you at my side. My life will always be different because of you, a whole lot better because you were in it, and a little bit worse, because now you are gone. But goodbye isn’t forever, and I know I will see you again one day. Until then my friend, I will miss you, desperately.”

Asami blinked the tears from his eyes and his hands curled and uncurled on his thighs as he tried to find a way to tell Akihito that the grave was just as empty as the cardboard box that sat next to it, but he couldn’t find the words.

He let Akihito finish piling the dirt in on top of the ashes. Asami thought perhaps they would come back and plant flowers. Not tulips, of course, the scentless abominations, but roses maybe. Akihito patted the soil gently in place, like tucking a child into bed and then they both sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

The companionable silence was finally broken by Akihito’s timid voice, “I don’t even know your name.”

There were two lives, two sets of memories, jostling for position in his head. The large man frowned, thinking long and hard. He knew he had a choice about which one he wanted to be and for him, the decision was effortless.

“Asami Ryuichi,” he said, taking Akihito’s soot streaked hand in his, “But you, can call me Ryu.”

-

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